Friday, September 15th 2023

I date these posts differently every week. If anything, I’m consistently inconsistent. Post this week is kinda fucked, my computers a little fucked and I havnt unpacked my laptop yet, so I’m writing this from the WordPress app Jetpack, which is complete dogshit – I have zero clue how the formatting is going to come out in the final version of the post.

Elephant in the room, I’m back in PA. I left SD Tuesday morning around 4am MST, drove until 7pm CST, which got me to Madison WI. I got pulled over once in Minnesota, apparently having an air freshener hanging from your mirror is illegal there. Got a warning, guy was super nice, but just was a massive waste of time and energy. Anyway, Madison is a really nice halfway point between Lancaster and Rapid City, about 800 miles five or take in each direction. It also happens to be my favorite city, so I was a very happy boy to be staying there.

I have a friend who lives in Illinois, about an hour south of Madison, and I wanted to see her on the way out since we live so far apart, so I had a layover in Madison to accommodate her work schedule. I visited the zoo, walked around the parks, and went to both the Planet Fitness near my hotel and the Crunch Fitness in the city – both were so clean, modern, and well maintained, it was such a culture shock from the relatively scuzzy PF back in Rapid.

I left Madison around 4pm Wednesday, arriving at a Sushi place in Rockford IL around 5:30. I had such a blast. Having dinner with a friend was such a long overdue experience. I had such a good fucking time in South Dakota but it was sort of lonely? Lonely doesn’t feel like the right word, because I really enjoyed being by myself; it’s more so that my friends are all back in the east coast and I felt by myself. If that makes sense. I miss you Madelyn!

I left the Sushi place around 7pm CST, and it’s about a 12 hour drive to my house from there – so I was really conflicted on what I wanted to do. I really didn’t feel like unpacking and setting up my camping gear, let alone looking for a spot to camp, or paying for a hotel, or sleeping in my car, or fucking driving for 12 hours overnight. Really a no win situation. I decided to drive for as long as I could before feeling too sleepy, and then if I needed to I would nap at a rest stop for a bit.

I fucking hammered out the last 800 miles in one sitting. What a fucking nightmare that was. From the jump, I knew if I did an all nighter that the hardest part would be between 2-4am. Right on the fucking money. Around that time I was driving through Indiana and Ohio. It felt like a fever dream, I was losing my mind out there. I recorded a couple voice memos around that time, pretty fucking disturbing to listen to post-mortem here. I passed 7 state trooper speed checks in Ohio alone, somehow didn’t get pulled over once. I arrived back home around 7am, and fell asleep within about 5 minutes of being home.

Since then, been a busy little bee. I feel like my to-do list is never ending. I really feel guilty taking the time to blog, but consistency and doing it when I don’t feel like doing it is important.

I’ve been keeping a secret for the past 2 months. I want to enlist in the military. I haven’t talked about it at all on here because I hadn’t talked about it with my parents yet. It was a decision I came to out in SD, and wanted to talk to them in person about it. I’ve been in contact with army and marine recruiters for a couple weeks. I met with them today. Im trying for the marines, active duty infantry.

I’ve got some baggage I need to get cleared and wavered so it’s probably going to be a few months before I can actually get going on my contract. My hopes of proceeding any further than I already have were pretty non existent, I thought the ghosts in my closet were terminal, but my recruiter told me he’s worked with the same shit to an even worse degree and gotten them in. It’s just going to take a long fucking time, and I need to be consistent and persistent.

I don’t know if this is or isn’t a surprise to whoever’s reading this. I honestly can’t decided if it is for those who know me intimately. My post high-school plan was the air force, but I had some mental health shit that pretty much killed it. I gave up on it for good. At least until I hit rock bottom this year, lost a fuck ton of weight and got into fitness and reassessed what I wanted in my life. My time in South Dakota and in general moving out of my moms place really contributed to that.

I’m so scared and excited about the prospect of the marines. Like I can’t even wrap my head around me, as fucking lazy and undisciplined as I am, going to boot camp and getting my shit together. I met with my marine recruiter for about 2.5 hours tonight. I love that guy. I was so excited, nervous, scared, jittery, and just pumped when I left. I felt like I had lightning coursing through my veins; I imagine it’s how being on meth feels tbh.

Afterwards, went to the gym with Gym Buddy for the first time in 4 months. Holy shit I missed him so much. It’s like no time passed at all. I owe this guy my life and love him like a brother. Love you dude. Again, I felt like I was high on crack going into our session so I set a new bench PR and have a pretty good chest pump.

I really want to dial in on my fitness these next few months, way more so than ever before. While I’m waiting for all my paperwork and clearances, I want to get fucked yoked. I currently meet the physical requirements to enter boot camp, but I want to exceed them.

I’m so nervous and excited. Cannot stress it enough. It’s honestly been one of, if not the most eventful weeks of my life. Agenda for the weekend here is to unpack, go through all my clothes, possibly go shopping, work out a fuck ton and eat clean, and fix my damn computer.

No movie review this week. I know I said I would last week (which also didn’t have a review). I think understandably I’ve been insanely busy. I haven’t had the chance to sit down and watch something for 2 hours and give it critical thought afterwards. Thats a lie. I did watch a movie this afternoon in between recruiter meetings, I watched Inside (2023), written by one schmuck and directed by another. It’s a one man show starring Willem Dafoe. It’s fucking awful. I think the rotten tomatoes consensus is perfect:

“Inside might be a one-note drama that verges on an endurance test, but it does have Willem Dafoe going for it, which is nice.”

Awful. I pinky promise I will do a formal review next week. A man is only as good as his word or whatnot. Alright, talk to you guys next week. See ya