Saturday, November 11th 2023

Ahoy matey! It’s been many a moon since I last spoke t’ ye scallywags.

The posting schedule is dead, no more fixed posting. If you want to keep up with this blog regularly, follow / sign up for the email notifications. My plan is to post when I feel like posting. I got a little burnt out feeling like I was obligated to post whenever I had nothing to talk about, or vice versa when I did have something to talk about but it wasn’t Friday. In my minds eye, I see myself posting between twice a week to once every other weeks, somewhere in that ballpark.

The last month has felt like six. I don’t even know where to begin catching you up. My last post was such a nothingburger that we’re just going to catch up from the one prior, which was October 6th… my bad. Get comfy because it’s going to be a yap and a half.

I worked 1 week for UPS, loading & unloading at their Middletown warehouse. I didn’t hate it, but I sure as hell didn’t enjoy it. They got me working right away and they paid well enough, but it was always the Amazon waiting room.

I’m a delivery driver for Amazon, woohoo. I’m quite happy with how it’s been working out so far. The pay is awesome and I enjoy the work, which there is definitely no shortage of. I’ve been working 4-5 days a week the past 3 weeks, but my boss asked me if I wanted to do 6 scheduled days a week through the winter, so I’m doing that. I’m going to be working Sunday through Friday, 11am to ~8pm (whenever I finish my route, which is usually between 7-9).

I like it. It’s strangely fun. I love driving the van, it’s the easiest part of the job. Going into it, I’d never driven anything larger than my Altima before and thought there’d be a huge learning curve. When I was doing my driver’s test, the guy riding bitch said he felt more comfortable maneuvering in the van than he did his own personal vehicle, and yeah I feel the same. I’ve become a based van enthusiast. I love being higher off the ground, and having the steering-base pretty much directly under me. I could definitely be one of those assholes who live out of their van.

The hardest part of the job is the inventory and time management. When I was training, every single person I worked with told me a different way to do the same shit. The key to the job is finding your own flow and what works best for you. I’ve definitely found mine. I got driver of the week this week, out of like 30 something drivers on my team, meaning I was the most efficient on top of having perfect safety & customer service metrics. I feel like I’m pretty good at the job and am surprisingly competitive about it. My team is pretty new and underdeveloped so they have zero performance incentives right now, I’m just an asshole and want to be better than everyone else.

Oddly enough it reminds me of World of Warcraft – the degenerate competitive strats I use to minmax <1% increased efficiency. I’m going to yap about World of Warcraft tonight, but I need to stay on topic and round out of my segment on the job.

I work the same area(s) every day. My territory is usually Mountville, Landisville, or Millersville. I’ve had 2 days in Lancaster city, both of which were covering someone else’s routes, and both of which were the worst days I’ve worked. I fucking hate delivering in the city. I really love working in rural areas and delivering to farm houses. I take pictures of all the cats I come across, good vibes. I’m quite content with the gig.

A huge plus to the job is that my van has Bluetooth so I listen to music all day. I’ve really been expanding and experimenting with my taste. I’ve been listening to artist’s entire discographies, or all of their albums start to finish. I’ve easily listened to 50+ albums. I’m currently in a nu metal phase, which is super out of character for me.

I’ve always considered my music taste shit. Everything in my Spotify from 2017-2022 is all alt rock indie softcore soy ass shit, designed around attracting mentally ill bi pale white women. I think I had my come to Jesus moment when I was listening to Alex G’s first 2 albums, and my only thoughts were this is music for the mentally ill

Completely unrelated, I’ve kept up with the 15,000 steps a day. I was doing it intentionally for 2-3 weeks, going out of my way to make sure I hit it. When I started driving, I stopped keeping track as it’s hard to keep my phone on me all day, so I got around to finding my FitBit and have been using it this past week. My average work day nets me 20,000+ steps. I’m running to the house and back to the van like 150+ times a day. It’s a super short distance but it adds up like crazy.

I walked a fucking marathon on a whim early on last month; 26.2 miles over 8 hours, which worked out to ~55,000 steps. Super easy physically, just a mental game to commit to fucking walking for 8 hours. I really liked how I felt afterwards and would like to do it at least once a month going forward.

I failed no run November. I fucking love running, man. Quitting running is literally harder than quitting jerking off. No bullshit. I run throughout the work day, I want to be as fast as possible. Minimal pain throughout the work day. I’ve been running a bit outside of work, just 1 mile stints on the treadmill; I’ve gotten my mile time down to a consistent 7 minutes and I’m pretty stoked about that. But when I do that, it feels like my tibia is going to full on snap in half for like 45 minutes afterward. It does go away though, so I’m not too terribly worried. My moms going to read this and kill me.

One downside of no longer working at a vet is no longer having access to an x-ray machine to look at my legs. I’m really curious as to how they’ve changed since the last time I’ve beamed them.

As far as the rest of me, I’ve been feeling fairly healthy. I injured myself ego lifting pretty early last month and that put the fear of God in me. I’m generally being a lot more health conscious. The past few weeks I’ve been lifting twice per week, which felt terrible in the moment, but I feel much better now. For context, I was lifting 5-7 times per week before. My current goal is 2-4 times per week, which feels good.

I either left my scale back in South Dakota or haven’t unpacked it. Another downside of no longer working at a vet is no longer having a scale at work. I don’t know how much I weigh right now. I’d say I’m currently ~20% bodyfat. I still have my love handles, but a new development is that if I suck in my stomach and flex my abs, I can see them. We’re getting there.

I’m at the point where I don’t particularly care for losing weight. It’s a strange thing, but really I want to get bigger. I want to be a big muscly man. I’m currently eating maintenance, which is ~2,000 cal/day, or a slight deficit. According to my FitBit, I burn ~2,300 cal on an average day off work where I don’t do much of anything besides rot, and burn ~3,600 on the days I work.

I know I need to be in a calorie surplus to reach the big muscly man goal, and 2,000 intake when I’m burning 3,600 is a significant deficit, but my thought process is that I’m currently ~20% bodyfat and I really want to see myself scrawny but low bodyfat % first, then bulk up afterwards. Honestly, it’s just because I want to milk the weight loss transformation pictures.

Another component is that I’m terrified of being fat again. This is unhealthy, but I’d rather die than be who I was 1 year ago. I know it took just 1 year to change as much as I’d have, but I’ve developed such hatred for who I was 1 year ago / up until February of this year. I don’t hate anyone living or dead, but I fucking despise my younger self. My biggest fear is being that person again. It’s unhealthy.

I started dating again. I stopped blocking everybody on Tinder and actually went on a couple dates. I reconnected with an ex and was seeing her for a couple weeks and we were official for about a week before I ended it. I need a girlfriend like I need a fucking lobotomy. It was very pleasant, it made me feel like a human being again, but I pretty quickly found out I do not have the time, energy, money, or emotional availability.

Kasey dumped me first week of January, so I made a resolution of no women for the rest of the year. Insane read by me. I knew I wasn’t going to have the capability within a year, and I was right, and I should’ve listened to my former self who I hate so much. So, we’re going to see it through for the rest of the year.

Also, something I decided on within the past month was that I’m no longer doing codenames on here for the recurring / important characters, which is like 5 people. 90% of the people who read this know me in real life and know who the codenames are referring to, so yeah I name dropped Kasey. Who cares.

I did plan on talking about World of Warcraft tonight, but I could genuinely talk for like 4 hours about my thoughts regarding WoW at the moment, and this post has already overstayed its welcome.

I alluded to a project I was working on before; well the project is a YouTube channel. Since I love talking so much, I thought it would be a good next step to make something for my Zoomer audience to watch while I yap. I filmed a bunch back in September but haven’t touched it since with how busy I’ve been with work. I haven’t given up on it, it’s just going to take a little longer to cook.

I am going to start advertising the blog on my socials again. I think the last time I did so was in June or July when I restarted this rendition of the blog. I’ve kept this rendition pretty low-key, the only public link or even acknowledgment to it as far as I know is just the link in my Instagram bio. Regardless, I average 8-11 unique visitors or 20-30 post views per week. I know 25% of that is my mom, and I know the girl I was dating keeps up with the blog. Zero clue who the rest of you are. If I were to guess, either my dad or stepmom, my stepdad, maybe my best friend?, maybe my brother or his girlfriend?, maybe my uncle out in South Dakota?

Who reads this shit 💀

Anyway, I’m going to advertise this on my socials with my next post probably. I want to get back to the being proud of my posts. I haven’t been for a long time, which is why I took a break this past month. Who remembers the first ever post on the last version of my blog. That shit was HEAT. I spent like 4 hours on a post half this length, just refining it into some powerful shit. I want to get there again. That’s the goal.

So, the best way to keep up with this thing is to sign up for email notifications in the bottom right corner.

I don’t have a clue when my next post is going to be. Like I said, I’m going to be working 6 days a week, 8-10 hours a day so have a little patience.

smell u laterr :3